50 Shades of Grey… The Review

Yes, I’ve read the books. Yes, I was one of those girls researching like a crazy person who would be casted as Mr. Grey… It’s an understatement to say I was excited for this movie. Any who, as I sat down in the theater with chatty selfie-taking girls, I realized I wasn’t the only one. The movie started and I couldn’t contain my excitement I was ready for “Mr. Grey to see me now,” or should I say “To see Mr. Grey now?” It was a little hard to focus throughout the whole movie and not because Jamie Dornan is so hot, but because the row of obnoxious women behind me playing a drinking game… this is not a bar ladies. Anyways… before you know it there’s Anna and there’s Christian doing the deed, it all happened so fast, that was not how I remembered it in the book… And now everyone in the theater is laughing, why, I do not know? Rewind, Yay Anastasia’s drunk! Now we actually have a reason to laugh people… Oh God, you eat that toast Mr. Grey! Fast forward… after a few butt shots and nipple shots, the story gets going and before you know it they are in the playroom! Then comes the family scene, another moment I was eager to see, Rita Ora on the big screen. Let me tell you, it lasted a total of 7 seconds… disappointing, and her hair, yikes! After getting distracted again from the women behind whispering, “take a drink,” I got pulled back into the movie by Jamie Dornan’s full bush, HELLO! A few sex scenes later they are back in the playroom, and Mr. Grey is braiding Anastasia’s hair, did anyone else notice that in some shots the braid was farther along than in others? Things then get a little graphic and a little weird… All in all, the movie was good but moved along too fast, there was no juicy anticipation, the movie starts, you blink, they are in the playroom, you blink, and then its over, leaving you hanging! I do have a few questions for those who worked on the movie: Why was Anastasia wearing brown jeans? A flip phone really? Why didn’t we see more of Christian’s brother and Taylor the driver… they’re hot!

 

*All images from approved social or stock accounts.

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